Yes, I am insane.

House poster

2009-11-30T18:48:17Z

What the...

I just found this on the official House website. Which I like never visit, btw. Maybe once every three months or something. But this is so strange and kinda funny that it was actually worth it :D

I particularly like Cameron trying to repair the caravan in that bad-ass dress, absolutely adore Chase broiling something while reading and Wilson playing golf just brings the LULZ.

Ah well, I'm back to waiting for tomorrow for my episode of House.

UPDATE

2009-11-09T17:53:17Z

Aw God, I've got a crush on my dancing teacher. I've switched dancing schools since my ex was my main dancing partner in the other one and while I'm mostly over him, I'm still not keen on seeing him all the time, especially not dancing with other girls. I still feel pain when I think that he was once MINE, and now he's all over the place. It's enough that I have to see him in school every day, since we have the same friends. God, that SUCKS ._. Okay, it was worse just a week ago, now I got used to it, but still... It's annoying.

Anyway, this guy I'm talking about is a brilliant dancer (he's the teacher DUH), about 26 or something years old (slightly old for my soon-to-be-18, but I've got a friend my age who has been together with her 26-year old boyfriend for over a year now), has gorgeous blue eyes and is just so nice and funny, everyone, especially the girls, like him. Unfortunately, he's taken and I've only seen him three times or so now.

But I can't keep myself from thinking what-if, not that I'm trying too hard ;) I mean, it's kinda therapeutic, it helps me get over my ex and it makes me feel good, so IDK :D

Aaanyway, his girlfriend is in Australia, and there can't be any harm in getting to know him closer... :)

Life is good :D

Schreibhemmung

2009-11-03T08:28:24Z

If you had one night left to live, what would you do? Would you prefer to spend your final night with a loved one or alone? What would you choose for your last meal?

View Answers

Obviously, I would l would contact all the people I love and say 'Goodbye'.
I would call my parents and tell them I love them and that I wouldn't have chosen any different parents than them even if I could. I would call my sisters and tell them I love them and thank you and to kiss their kids from me...

Apart from that, I would give the guy who recently broke up with me a visit and tell him its okay. And, if the opportunity presented, sleep with him^^ Last but not least I would go to my best friend and say goodbye and how much I love and owe him.

Though I suppose I would spend my last hour or so alone.

Who cares about the damn food when they're dying!?

Schreibhemmung

2009-10-27T19:08:04Z

Which character from any film, television show, or book would you most like to take on a date and why?

Von blue_mariposa88 vorgeschlagen

View Answers

Captain Jack Harkness from Torchwood! Because he's awesomely hot *.*

Schreibhemmung

2009-10-21T11:16:28Z

If you only had one day left to live, and you had the chance to tell one person from your past "I love you," who would it be? How about "I'm sorry"?

Von crazy_lil_loud1 vorgeschlagen

View Answers

"I´m sorry" would most definitely be directed to my ex-boyfriend. I screwed up our relationship big time and there is nothing I regret as much as that. I still love him, even though he doesn´t love me anymore. I would also tell him that if I had one day to live, but my best friend has helped me so much during the last couple of weeks, I think I would have to direct the "I love you" at him, because he deserves it and that would be the only way I could somehow pay him back.

random ramblings about House episode 1

2009-09-22T12:22:41Z

I really liked this episode. I would have probably liked ANY new episode of House, since its been so long since I've seen one, but this one pleased me. They didn't do too many stupid and OOC things, which is good. The only scene I really went 'o.Ô No really?' was the one with the music box, where the superhero handed it to the mute girl and they both sort of magically got better. But oh well, a bit a sap is also necessary^^
And there was too little Wilson in this whole big episode, but there can never be enough Wilson anyway, and as this was a House-centered episode, I'll live.

Otherwise, I adore the rap-scene between House and Alvie (?). And House giving him a hug in the end after joking about being gay was just <3

Oh, and NO CUDDY *muhahaha* I hope that's how they will continue. Maybe she died or something during the time House was gone.

This whole-relationship concept was kinda weird, I didn't really like it. But it wasn't too exaggerated at least, so that's okay. Even though it gives the episode a soap-y flavor.

The very last scene was strange. First I went 'yay, House is getting out', then I went 'aw, Alvie is getting help', then I went 'Okay, where is Wilson?' , then I went 'WTF, why is House getting on that bus? WHERE IS WILSON AND WHY ISN'T HE PICKING HOUSE UP?' and, finally, I went 'Oh. House is riding a bus again. ...'

So, all in all: YEAH, HOUSE IS BACK AND I LIKE IT!

I wonder if any of the psych-ward characters will appear in this season again....

Oh, and btw... What the hell happened to Wilson's brother? Did we ever hear anything about him after the episode he was mentioned?

EDIT: The cake smashing was also kind of strange. But I always think that its rather strange to smash you face into the cake instead of eating it. I don't even really think its funny.

bored

2009-09-09T20:24:07Z

You who are reading this, put this in your own journal and list twenty things that make you happy/glad right now.

1. going to bed
2. sleeping
3. re-reading 'The Chronicles of Narnia' for the x-th time
4. not having maths tomorrow
5. not having PE tomorrow
6. knowing I've already done Geography
7. knowing that half of this week is over
8. my PC not going down for once
9. reading Shakespeare (that guy was actually quite obscene)
10. watching vids on youtube
11. eating watermelon
12. chatting with my friends
13. drinking water 'cause I'm thirsty
14. watching 'The Nanny' (OMG I love that sitcom though it's almost as old as I am!)
15.

.... I've actually run out of things that make me happy right now. Guh, I guess its time to go to bed.

bukabe16 @ 2009-06-30T23:14:00

2009-06-30T21:25:31Z

1. Leave me a comment saying "interview me"
2. I will respond by asking you 5 questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will post the questions and the answers to the questions in your journal.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. And the cycle shall continue....

1. Do you know the muffin man?
-Who lives on Drury Lane? I think so :)

2. What was your favourite toy/game as a kid?
-Do trees count? I loved climbing trees as a kid.

3. If I gave you 20 $/euro/£/Yen/whatever, what would you spend it on?
-At the moment? Gas, most probably, since driving to my boyfriend's always drains my scooter^^ Or buy further things to give a friend whose 18th birthday is coming up. But usually, books most probably.

4. Can you name the movie this quotation is from: 'Are you taking any prescription medication?'
-Er, not precisely. I would guess House, though^^

5. Are you particular about your socks? Do you like a certain brand, style, or colour, for instance?
-I don't really care. Though I prefer to wear black socks when I'm doing kung fu, 'cause our clothes are black, too. Otherwise, I like coloured socks, those that end around you ankles are the most practical for the summer :)

bukabe16 @ 2009-06-21T19:29:00

2009-06-21T17:31:26Z

It took me a moment to figure out how this lion was hanging on his tree.

And now I'm hungry. Running of to eat some pizza (again ugh) and watch some tivoed episodes of 'The Nanny'.

Schreibhemmung

2009-06-06T14:53:51Z

No matter what language you speak, you've probably come across words or phrases in another language that sound better than their equivalents in your native tongue. What's your favorite word or phrase in a foreign language?

View 507 Answers

I like the Polish word 'swobodnie' very much. It's an adjective describing something you do well, practiced, thouroughly and with pleasure. I just like it :)

bukabe16 @ 2009-06-02T14:15:00

2009-06-02T12:39:11Z

I'm bored. So I'm doing a survey I stole from benjimmy . Hope you don't mind.

Verbal mugshot? 1.70 m, 55 kg, blond, more or less tanned, blue fucked up eyes, hence glasses

Zodiac sign? Sagittarius

Chinese Zodiac? Sheep

Are you spiritual, religious or oblivious? what is spiritual supposed to mean? I believe there is some kind of God, but I'm not religious by any means.

Where do you live? Mönchengladbach, NRW, Germany

Whats your phone number? Like I would tell here.

How open minded are you? Pretty much, I think. There are very few things I wouldn't even tolerate.

Do you believe in morality? Yep. Wish more people would.

Do you associate sexuality with negativity? No, should I? I mean, it's natural and if it's safe etc, why not?

Would you impregnate an animal? Er no.

Do you ever stop to wonder why fat people let themselves get fat?Probably because they can. Big food supply, probably been fat since their were kids, which would make it their parents' fault. Or some kind of medical condition.

Or why anorexics don't eat? Some are mentally disturbed, and a few probably just want to draw attention to themselves, though these are the less severe cases.

How about views on Drugs? I don't take them. Nor would I advise anyone to do so.

Would you date a friends ex? Er, from what I've seen of those exes? No.

Would you kill a spider? Not on purpose. I usually carry them out.

Have an orgy?Huh, I don't know... I suppose not.

Let a lover pursue a purely sexual desire with another person? umm.... Maybe. BIG MAYBE.

Would you give up your lifestyle for a simple one? If I had to. I mean, I do enjoy it, but I think I could cope without.

Would you offer yourself as a Christian sacrifice? No.

Your Opinion.

Slipknot? No thank you.

Technology? Can usually do as much wrong as good.

Fashion? IDK

Love? Which kind?

God? Who knows?

The Power Of Now? Like, living in the present? Good idea.

First word that comes to mind
Money - euro

Sex - skin

Noodles -cooking

Coffee - chocolate

Magnet -fridge

Herpes - plaster

Afro - hair

Engrave -tombstone

Bullet - gun

Cloud -sky

Dance - waltz

Freezer -ice-cream

Lounge - villa

What do you do when:
You lose your temper? I don't. I mean, I don't lose control of myself. I always think ahead. At least up til now. Though if I'm angry enough, I ignore the consequences.

You can't satisfy a craving? Pace around.

You're aroused? Hm either call my boyfriend or take care of it myself^^

Someones stalking you? Go somewhere where there are a lot of people

There are bills to pay? Go tell my dad

You are jealous of someone? Try to ignore it

You need to escape reality? Read or watch movies. But mostly read.

You need money? Look if I have some savings or otherwise ask my parents

You are sad?Read, or cry. Sometimes both.

Your friends are sad? Talk to them, and try to cheer them up, if it's appropriate. Otherwise just be there.

You wake up from a nightmare? Try to calm down and go back to sleep

Someone says something you dont agree with? Depending on if it's important or not, argue.

Someone punches you? Well, most of the time it happens during my training, in which case I try to ever block or evade his punch.

There seems to be nothing to do? Read, watch something, surf on the internet or call some friends.

bukabe16 @ 2009-06-01T18:00:00

2009-06-01T16:01:26Z

I just had a panic-attack. Or something like that.

I was on the fair with my boyfriend, and this time of the years there's this imo quite ridiculous feast in Germany, where people run all over the places dressed in stupid green jackets, wearing stupid hunting-hats and carrying stupid wood guns with stupid roses sticking out of them. Anyway, it has some historical meaning, but nowadays it's mainly an excuse for a lot of old and not so old men to go into a big tent and drink alcohol. Something I'm not very comfortable with, actually, because even though I lived here all my life, I simply can't handle it, it's completely foreign to me. Just as, I don't know, a Turkish marriage would be to me, I suppose. I've been feeling detached all day and when we got to this fair and there all these people and the noise and the sun was shining the whole day, it's hot and humid, and I was starting to get extremely nervous, was drumming my fingers and all. When we finally got out again, like, 10 minutes later, I was even more lightheaded than before. It felt like my blood was rushing and I'm not sure if I wasn't hyperventilating. It took me about 20 minutes or something to calm down, maybe more, my time perception was off. I couldn't concentrate or calm down and was on the verge of crying.

Is that a panic attack or just me being slightly crazy? Because I can do that, be all hyper and make myself either busted up or miserable.

This is kind of pathetic, that being in an unfamiliar environment and unfamiliar circumstances coupled with noise, lots of people and heat could make me that helpless. Hm, I haven't eaten anything today since breakfast, and it was around 4 pm. And I hadn't had anything to drink, either. So that could explain it. I was just to stupid to drink something.

Schreibhemmung

2009-05-30T13:58:06Z

How many languages do you speak?

Submitted By 40alatariel

View 503 Answers

I speak English, German and Polish fluently, I had Latin for a few years, but that was rather senseless since I already forgot everything. And a few words of Spanish, but nothing really useful. That's about it.

Two qoutes

2009-05-22T16:11:18Z

'I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too. So we're really not that different, you and me.
-Colin Raye

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest to the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson

I like them both, the last one probably because it justifies my huge ego^^

Passed my exam for a drivers license today! Yay! :) Celebrated with my parents by eating ice cream and pizza. Very simple and just as awesome. And I'm going dancing tonight. Another Yay!

Random musing about 5x24

2009-05-20T14:35:14Z

First of all: Is detoxing over night really possible?

Because if it is, the rest is redundant.

If it is not, however, I think it's strange that Wilson didn't react when House told him he was clean. I'm thinking that if House had taken his last vicodin, as he said, about 24 hours ago, then he should still be detoxing and be in severe pain from his leg. And I'm sure, that if this is true, Wilson would know. But he seemed to believe House. Either I am wrong and Wilson thought it was possible, or it's some kind of glitch 'cause I think that WIlson thought House was telling the truth and didn't think it was an misunderstanding or whatever. Ah well. Does this make sense?

Four school-free days! Whohoo! :) Dance party tonight! Too bad I'm still slightly ill and can properly lean forward or anything, 'cause then my head goes 'WTF?' Still, it bound to be fun :)

bukabe16 @ 2009-05-17T11:24:00

2009-05-17T09:28:42Z

My nephew playing boat.

Feel free to go 'awwww'.

bukabe16 @ 2009-05-16T11:54:00

2009-05-16T10:17:49Z

My dog is losing so much fur that my vacuum cleaner can't take it all.

On a different note, my best friend is really having a rough time in school. And I mean, I really rough time. Apparently, his classmates throw his stuff around, punch and kick him and he can't retaliate, because he's one person and they're about ten people who think it's a really good joke to try and tie him to the blackboard. I mean, this probably sounds more or less harmless, but these aren't children I'm talking about, most of them are about 20 years old. And my friend really is not a pushover, but he's the youngest in his class, 17. And I mean, there are just so many of them, and while it might sound harmless, it doesn't feel that way. I'm not the most popular person, I know what it feels like, though I've never been beaten up.

And while everyone always says 'I'd never let anyone do that stuff to me, I would punch them in the face', reality, imo, is different. That's the downside of the pacifist agenda we were tought as children, when someone else violates this rule and physically threatens you, you don't want to retaliate, because violence, as we all know, is BAD. If he would have put down his foot before this whole situation escalated, who knows, maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad, who knows... Because he finally cracked, so that one of them ended up with a dislodged shoulder. And now my friend has got a problem.

Oh, and the teachers can't do anything, because it's his word against all the other's and so far, no one caught them. So, all in all, it's a really crappy situation.

But what worries me most is how it changed him. He used to be so happy, such a cheerful, hopeful and sensitive guy, and now he's just desperate and tired. And very, very sad. I suppose it gets to you when you dread going to school every morning. Hell, I was exhausted when I came back from school after I skipped a year and had a lot of new people around me, just from being so careful not to tread on anyone's toes.

Just needed to vent. Sorry.

Blah and such

2009-05-14T08:12:49Z

So, I've got two lessons free 'cause my English teacher's not there, so I went HOME. And here I am. And apparently, my boyfriend's pissy at me. He was in a bad mood yesterday, the whole time und kinda unloaded on me. Which is okay, I'll live. I do that too, sometimes, even though I try not to. But that doesn't mean his bitching doesn't put me in a bad mood. But what his problem with me is today, I don't know *sigh*

Ah well. I should be studying biology, which I am not, of course. Cause it's not like we're writing a three-hour-exam tomorrow or anything, nooo. And the damn topic is friggin ecology *facepalm* Talk about boring stuff.

To avoid further boredom or temptation to actually study, I'll run off and look at Rory's fic :)

book-meme

2009-05-09T21:23:55Z

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you love.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them. ;-)

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Er... NO!?! Equal rights, anyone?

2009-04-12T21:37:53Z

Okay, my favourite online-bookstore is turning on me. No, really, I'm not standing up to this, this is an downright discriminating action and not matter how much I like amazon.com, I will stop buying if they don't change their fucking policy. Removing books from ranking and bestseller-lists because they contain something about gays or lesbians is not right in any way, HELLO? They call those books 'adult', but leaving 'The blade itself' (nice descriptions of torture there -.-) all out in the open is okay, yeah? Tss. I suppose anyone with enough brains to work a computer can decide what they want to buy by reading a description, not to mention that this whole issue is pointless from an ethical point of view. We live in the 21st century now, being gay is actually considered legal and okay now, I swear! Well, at least by most people, I hope...

Anyway, get a closer look here at rivers-bend's journal, he's got it explained, and of course go see for yourself, on amazon! I wrote an email, maybe if they get enough threats they'll change it again. It's worth a try.

Schreibhemmung

2009-03-30T15:29:17Z

What scientific or medical breakthrough do you most want to happen in your lifetime?

View 500 Answers

Oh, to genetically modify your DNA so you can grow wings would be great^^ But since that's not going to happen, I will go with short air transportation for everyone, instead of cars. I know that such mini-one-man helicopters have already been built, but they're still expensive as hell. But imagine no highways cutting through the landscape! How much nature we could spare, just by not building highways. Not to mention it would be tremendously cool^^

bukabe16 @ 2009-03-17T21:17:00

2009-03-17T20:35:10Z

I never was good at writing poems, not since pre-school. And here I go and actually finish something instead of just having a go and giving up after a few tries. I'm kinda proud of it, in a childish way. Not that anyone would want to read it, I mean, it's probably horrible, but I'm content with it^^ So, hence the cut, so nobody has to read it. I just wanted to post it SOMEWHERE more public than my room. And since my ICQ-status is kind of a no-go, since I don't want Marc to read it, since it won't help one bit, as he won't care, which would make me even more pathetic than I already am. And yes, OF COURSE it's about him! He's the greatest 'problem' in my life right now, so that thinking about him is effortless, I didn't have to concentrate about what I wanted to express. I already knew that, just the words were missing. So here it comes:

Goodbye

You walk away
Don't try to lead,
don't want to follow

Your path takes you away from me
No second thought, leave me behind
What shall I do? I cannot see!
Doubt and fear, they cloud my mind

The distance grows, fade from my sight
So alone on the edge of the road
we used to walk side by side
Where once was warmth, now is ice-cold

Pain spreads, filling out the hole you left
my hand falls limply to my side
You do not want me, so you act,
to journey with you through your life

I sit down, staring down the path you went
This is the place I'm meant to be.
Waiting, for you, my only friend.
Until the day you come back to me.

Alone you want to walk your way.
I understand, it is okay.
You have to do this on your own
I will be here when you come home.

The last stanza is a lie, actually. I have not at all come to terms with the fact that he has shut me out of his life and it still hurts when we are in the same room and he is all so polite, greets me and everything and then doesn't say a word to me anymore, just because he has nothing to say. As dramatic as it might sound, I'm even more afraid that one day I might realize that I don't care about him anymore. I don't want that, not ever, I love him too much for that! Which is one of the reasons I go to the parties I know he will be at, because when I hurt over him at least I still know I haven't given up on him. No, I'm not an EMO, thank you very much! Usually, I'm so giddy people get annoyed by me. This just is my most depressing topic I can write about, so hey, let's do this!

bukabe16 @ 2009-03-13T16:16:00

2009-03-13T15:36:10Z

I am sick. AGAIN. This is the third time this season, which is about two times above average. My throat is sore, I have a headache, I was running a fever and my limbs ached. It's better today, I was in school, since I had two lessons of biology which I didn't want to miss, and I dragged myself through the other four hours.

And obviously, my best friend has turned into a bigger jerk than I would have imagined possible. I mean, we've got this mutual friend, chris, he's a bit strange, but a great guy and I can't even count the times Marc went to cry at his (our) shoulders because of his girlfriend problems. Most of the girls we have to hang out with don't like Chris, because he's not good-looking, overly intelligent or anything, but rather dorky. Still, he's a rarely good person, just different than the standards are. He's definitely not 'cool' or anything. Aaanyway, Marc's girlfriend doesn't like Chris, either, and actually made a fuss of having to sit next to him in another guy's car -.- I mean, yeah, he tends to get sweaty, but HELLO? Ever heard of common courtesy? I bet she didn't even think of or imagine how that must feel for Chris. Not to mention that this is actually her boyfriends good friend.*sigh* He's used to it, though, and he made several suggestions for her to sit in the front or something, or for Marc to sit between or something like that. As far as I understood it, that's about the point when she took off -.-

That bitch. How dare she insult Chris that way, he doesn't deserve any of the treatment they give him, even though most of them aren't as extreme. I wasn't there, or I would've said something. But the worst thing is that Marc didn't stand up for Chris at any point, no. He even ran after her when she walked away. That BASTARD. How can he just let life-long friend (literally, they know and like each other since nursery school) and then run off after such a disgusting person as she is? Doesn't matter that he's in love, he should at least have the decency to apologize to Chris, in her stead. That is the least that he can do, if he doesn't even stand up for his friend, that little piece of shit.

Yeah, I'm pissed. He used to be the best friend I could imagine, and look what he's letting himself become. And the thing is, I love him. He is like my brother, and I can't give up on him. So I can just look, see what he's doing and it actually hurts me. Is that pathetic? Probably, but I'm so sad to see how this brilliant and good person that means so much to me is becoming something I always despised.

Schreibhemmung

2009-03-03T18:12:16Z

You're packing your bag for that other desert island—the one with no electricity—what 5 books do you take with you?

Submitted By mika_uriah

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The Chronicles of Narnia (which is one big book), The hatchet (might come in handy ^^), and maybe LOTR. If not, then maybe some of the twilight series or Hello Mister God, this is Anna.

bukabe16 @ 2009-03-01T22:42:00

2009-03-01T21:47:35Z

Aw, crap. Now I was supposed to read the first three acts of a drama till, uuh, last Monday? I still haven't done it. I honestly forgot, even though I thought about it this morning. Damn. Now I didn't do the homework and I will have to copy it from someone in the morning. Shoot, I wouldn't even mind if we weren't writing this stupid class test next week, and this might actually be kind of important. I should go to sleep know, it's too late, and I'm just lounging around here because I don't feel very tired and because I suddenly had the urge to write something completely senseless into my journal.

Huh, I guess my journal-style is kind of freaky. I gives you cancer of the eye xD Ah well, I rarely read it myself, so if anyone else does, it's their own risk :p

Oh, and my best friend, Marc, is like all over his girlfriend. He barely talks to me at all, which is... sad. I guess I'm just hoping that once they are together for some longer time and the excitement has worn off a little, maybe he'll remember who I am and say hi or something when we're at the same party. Hell, we're almost treating each other like acquaintances, just simple, mundane conversations, which just feels so plain WRONG to me.
I mean, there's a reason why he used to call me his little big sister and I referred to him as my Jacob (Twilight reference). Right know, ever since he really created a lot of shit, things have changed. He first ignored me for a week, because he knew I was furious with him (at least at first I was) and then apologized for it. It fealt like he meant it, and he seemed he was really relieved when I accepted his apology and was outraged that he thought this might be the end of our friendship (I mean, it's been a decade know, HELLO? I'm loyal, and I love him way too much to ever just leave him because of something like this).

But since then, I've barely seen him. We meet at parties we both regularly go to, but that's it. Even there, he spends most of his time with his girlfriend, and well yeah... read above. When I asked him about it, I had the impression he was trying to say what I wanted to hear, so that I would leave him alone. Ouch. Am I really that bad?

No, to be honest, I don't think so. I didn't interfere in his affairs, he has no right to be mad at me. And I don't think he is, he has just changed (or maybe we both have) and it feels like he's... walking away from me. And this all for a girl that is known for cheating on her boyfriends and having three of them at a time? Love really must be blind.

Well, it doesn't change how I feel, who I am. If necessary, I will walk after him and try to keep him close by my effort. If that doesn't work, I'll just wait and hope. I will do what is necessary to gain his trust again, but I will not let him turn into an asshole, not it I can prevent it. I won't let that happen, I can't. But what if he doesn't let me? What if he is 'done' with me? He promised me many times this would never happen, but the way he is behaving now... Well, no matter how pathetic it seems to others, I will always be ready to take him back. He is my chosen brother, family, and family goes before all other things.

Okay, long story short: Let's see what happens^^

Surprisingly, I'm not as worked up as I might have been about it. Making out with your boyfriend can do that to you :p Or, on a more depressing note, I'm just so used to trouble and feeling left alone by him that if I got worked up every time, my head would explode.

Though that might be exaggerated.

Okay, enough! Good night.